I wasn’t really anybody special at school. Neither did I have a bunch of friends. I was just a teenager, trying to get through life and school. Life was hard. My mom was an alcoholic and substance abuser. My stepdad a weirdo, just abusing his power in the house. The only good thing I can say about him was that he took us to church and my mom stopped drinking because now she had to go to church. But it’s not like he was a good person. He believed in the Bible, but he believed that my mom was a slave to him. Because that’s what the bible said a women should be. I went through a phase of feeling sorry for myself and resentful of those who had seemingly ‘normal’ parents and a normal life.
My only goal after school was to get out of there. I went to study, got a job, got married to the most amazing husband. And I started to live a new life. It wasn’t without it’s own challenges. Though, no one ever said life would be easy.
But my life’s direction changed completely the day I realized that every single decision I make today, will determine the direction of my future. I cannot remember if somebody told me that, but I firmly believe that it’s something the lord imparted on me that day.
It definitely didn’t mean that everything in my life was fine now. It took several years for me to really understood what that would look like in my life on a daily basis. Since then, it was my honor to support and help several people on the same journey.
One of the biggest mistakes people make, is to make a goal and try to achieve it. They forget to understand how it would look like to actually achieve the goal. How should your day look like to achieve the goal. And that is why many people give up.
A goal out there is just too big for them to comprehend. People cannot see themselves successfully achieving the goal. It’s too far away. It’s too unlikely. They have to understand what to they need to do tonight to get one step closer to the goal. What do they need to do tomorrow to get one step closer to the goal.
I still have some amazing dreams for my life. This morning when I walked up to the church door, I was greeted by one of my very first home cell leaders of probably 15 years ago. We haven’t spoken in many years! And the moment I walked up to her, I knew I stepped into the Grace of God. You see, it’s amazing how God uses people. I’m wrestling with God all the time. I know what he told me… I know what I have to do… But there’s so many voices in your head that wants to make you belief that it’s just voices…just some empty illusions in your head.
And she told me “Get rid of the voices in your head. Be still. Just be still.” She didn’t know about the voices in my head or half of the stuff I’m trying to reason between my ears.
But I know…if you life seems directionless and things just seem undirected and purposeless. Be still. Be still and listen.
This is the beginning of a journey to a better life.